Moving On
by JustAnotherGeekyAuthor
Summary: The Gems' final messages to Rose after her death.
1. Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet

I used to love you, Rose.

I used to, but now, I can't see past all the lies you told. Everything you did to me that I didn't have the will to say no to.

I used to think you were perfect.

I couldn't bear to let that image of you go.

Only when you're gone, can I see past that perfect facade. Only when you're no longer here can I cast aside the programming that made me see you as a Diamond, perfect and unflawed. Only when you're gone can I see how you struggled, and how you failed.

We all fail. We all struggle. But you did so much that I can never forgive.

I used to love you.

But now, I've moved on.

* * *

You said I was perfect the way I am.

You never told me what I was supposed to be.

Thanks for that, I guess.

I never knew what I was missing.

Did you ever think about what would happen when Homeworld came to earth? Did you think about what would happen the first time I met another Quartz?

Of course you didn't. You only thought about yourself.

Thanks for nothing, Rose. Your idea of protection only made things worse.

I'm glad Steven's nothing like you.

I cried when you left. When you decided to leave us. Do you know how much that hurt me? You were like a mother to me. I couldn't live without you.

No one ever saw. Pearl, Garnet, they had no idea how shaken up I was. Everyone was busy dealing with Pearl, anyway. She really took it the hardest.

I used to miss you. I still do, I guess. But your memory doesn't dominate my life anymore.

Sorry, Rose. I've moved on.

* * *

You told me that we were the answer.

I didn't question you, back then. A part of me wishes I had.

If I had questioned you, I would have learned to find my own answer.

I would have learned that I don't need your validation.

Instead, it took me 5,750 years to finally realise how much you lied.

I realised that I'd been following your advice like it was a lifeline.

I didn't know who I was anymore.

Did you ever think about what would happen when your lies came forward? Did you ever realise how those lies could taint the truth?

If it weren't for Steven, I might not be here right now.

I found my own answer. Not by following you, but by following my heart.

I am made of love, and you were made of lies.

We all missed you when you left. I nearly split over it. But I had to be there, for Amethyst and Pearl. Amethyst would disappear for days on end, and Pearl… she fell apart, and me and Amethyst had to hold her together.

Not that it did much good.

Poor Amethyst. She really is the best of us, after all. She never based her self-worth on others' opinions like we did. She never relied on you.

But she still missed you.

She just didn't want us to see it.

You left behind a mess when you left. It was up to me to pick up the pieces and put the Crystal Gems back together.

I missed you when you left.

But now, we've moved on.


	2. Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot

I never thought Rose was perfect. I knew her as an imperfect leader, a gem just like everyone else. A powerful gem, sure, but she had her flaws just like all of us.

I never realised quite how deep those cracks went, though.

I knew she kept secrets. So did almost everyone else. No one wants to talk about a dead past. Of course Rose would have one, too.

But her secrets nearly killed us all.

I thought the Diamonds were the problem. Thousands of years later, I guess I was right. I just didn't quite get the right solution.

I wanted to shatter Pink Diamond. I knew Rose would be against it- but I thought that if I talked to her, she'd come around. What a fool I was back then.

In hindsight, I really should have known.

I guess she ended up taking my advice.

In the end, my stupidity saved me from a worse fate.

In the end, it all worked out, thanks to Steven.

No thanks to Pink.

She did good things, she really did, but she messed up too. She started a war, she caused the deaths of thousands of gems- but she liberated us. She was the one who brought the Crystal Gems to life.

I used to look up to her. I'm grateful to her, for all the good she did, but I can't see her in the same light ever since I met her son.

After all this time, I finally moved on.

* * *

I never really knew Rose Quartz. She was sort of this nebulous entity, an idea more than a person. After all this, I'm almost glad I never met her. She tried, but she really messed up. Poor Steven. He had to clean up all her messes.

I used to hate her. I didn't know her, but I blamed her and the Crystal Gems for everything that happened to me during and after the war. For 5000 years I cursed her name, stuck in a mirror looking up at the same sky with nothing to do but think. I built her up into this monster of a person, a ruthless gem who wanted nothing more than to kill me and destroy my home.

But now I know she was kind. I know she just wanted to protect her home. I know she wanted freedom. And now that I finally have that freedom, and a new home, and friends I can trust… I understand why she did it. I can't forgive her for it, but I understand it.

I guess I really have moved on.

* * *

Rose quartz? You mean Pink Diamond? I guess either name works, right? I didn't really care about her. I was more concerned with surviving on this planet, and after that I'd met Steven. I guess I kinda hated her at first, everyone did. But it wasn't really talked about on Homeworld. So yeah, if I ever had anything against her, I've moved on and all that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of a Camp Pining Hearts marathon.


	3. Yellow, Blue, White

I knew Pink wasn't ready for a colony. Still, I never expected that things would turn out the way they did.

She wasn't shattered in the war, I know that now. But the fact remains that she's still gone.

In hindsight, I was wrong. She was ready, just not in the way we thought. She was always so stubborn, always had to get her way, and Blue and I always gave in.

She grew up thinking she could do anything she wanted.

In a sense, she wasn't wrong. She won the war, after all; albeit with significant losses.

I don't think she really believed that, though. She knew that she wasn't perfect, and that's what made her strong. She knew she'd made mistakes, and she did her best to fix them.

Without all of Pink's mistakes, we wouldn't have Steven. And as much as I loved Pink, I adore Steven more than I miss her, now.

Six thousand years after I thought I lost you, I've finally moved on.

* * *

I cried every day after you left, Pink.

My poor Pearl. Knowing what I do now, I can't believe I put her through all that. I shouldn't have made her deal with my breakdowns.

Yellow was right. I can't stay in the past. But that doesn't mean I have to forget. After all, your memory lives on to this day, in the form of your son.

Such a wonderful child. He showed us the beauty in this universe, and all the things you wished to protect. I understand now, why you loved this planet so much, if a being like Steven could come from it.

I love you, Pink. I hope you know that. You were like a child to me and Yellow, and we loved you dearly even at your worst.

I'm sorry that I ever made you cry. If you were here, I'd say sorry so many times that you'd probably have to tell me to stop.

But if you were here, the universe would be a very different place, wouldn't it?

I miss you, Pink. But I've stopped mourning you.

Dear pink, at last I'm moving on.

* * *

Starlight…

What to say to you?

I wish I believed you could hear me, wherever you are. Steven said that some humans believe in a life beyond death- an afterlife, as he called it. Sometimes, you catch glimpses of the beyond, and some humans can even speak with deceased loved ones.

I don't believe in that. When a gem is shattered, they're gone for good.

But… it's nice, pretending to talk to you. Pretending you can hear me out there.

The day they told me you were shattered, I couldn't believe it. I was in denial for almost 6000 years. I spoke to no one, sending my pearl in my stead. I didn't move. Didn't think. Didn't do anything, until your son arrived on Homeworld, and I thought my prayers were answered, and you were alive.

You'd be so mad at me if you knew what I did. All I can say to that is, I'm sorry.

Starlight, you were everything to me, my grandchild. When you died, it was like a piece of me went missing. When I finally came to my senses, I searched for anything, anyone to fill that void. Poor Steven. He had to take the brunt of my overflow after everything.

I miss you, Starlight, but I think it's about time I moved on.


	4. Spinel, Pink Pearl, Steven

I was created to make you happy. I was happy, playing there in the garden. I thought you were happy, too.

But you weren't. I know that now. You used to be happy, at the start, and I loved seeing that smile on your face. But as time went on, as you kept growing without me… that smile became forced, strained. You grew tired of playing the same old games.

I wish… you'd told me. Even if you'd snapped, even if you'd yelled and told me what I was doing wrong, at least then I'd have known. At least then I wouldn't have had to spend 6000 years wondering if you ever liked me.

If you'd told me, I could have learned. I could have grown. But you let me think that nothing had changed, that everything was the same it had always been. I never got a chance to grow with you.

If you'd given me that chance, I could have been a Crystal Gem.

Bit late, aren't I? Too late to see the war that started it all. But I'm here now, and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon.

I thought I knew you, Pink. Now I know that I knew nothing. But I'm learning. After it all, I've finally moved on.

* * *

My Diamond. Pink Diamond. I used to think you were the world.

I know it wasn't your fault. I know you tried to stop White. But you didn't try hard enough.

I laughed along with you, when you played. I came to the Garden with you, every moment when you didn't have to be on Homeworld. I spent every waking moment of my life with you- until the day you made one mistake too many.

I felt it all. For all those thousands of years I sat there, trapped in a white cage, watching my body be puppeted by this ruthless shell of a diamond.

I don't blame you. I'm smart enough not to. That doesn't mean I can't still be angry with you, though.

As soon as they thought you were shattered, everything got so, so much worse.

I was a puppet because of White. I lost an eye because of you.

I missed you, when I realised you were gone. I'd been hoping, waiting for the day you'd come and set me free. On that day, I lost all hope.

When I was finally freed, thousands of years later, by your son… I gave up on trying to care about you anymore.

I used to care. But now I've moved on.

* * *

Rose, Pink… Mom. I wish I could've met you. Then maybe this would make me sad.

Everyone else misses you, but I can't. How can you miss someone you never met?

I know so much about you, and at the same time nothing at all. I've been told stories about you for my entire life. For most of it, I was expected to be like you, act like you, live up to your name. The gems always seemed to expect something from me, and I never quite knew what. But as I grew, that feeling disappeared. I realise now that it wasn't just because I was growing into my power, but because the gems saw how I grew apart from you.

It took a long time to finally accept myself for who I am. But after fourteen years of wondering and waiting, I finally stepped out of your shadow. I nearly died doing it, but by then, I was barely bothered by it. I've nearly died so many times, no thanks to you.

My name is Steven Universe. I am your son, and I am all the best parts of you. I am your kindness, your compassion, your empathy. I am not your selfishness, your greed, your lies. I've grown beyond the path you set for me, beyond what anyone ever expected of me.

I hope you're listening out there, mom. After spending so long in your shadow, I'm stepping forward, and moving on.


	5. Rose

Dear Steven,

Dear Crystal Gems,

Dear Diamonds,

Dear everyone I knew and loved,

I love you all.

I'm sorry, for everything I did. I know I made mistakes. I know I wasn't always the best leader I could be.

I know I hurt some of you. For that, I'm sorry.

Pearl. I'm sorry for telling you to stay silent. You know why I did it; in hindsight, I was stupid. I should have trusted you. You'd know when the truth was needed, and you did, but you couldn't speak up. I'm glad that you've finally found your voice.

Amethyst. You were my child first, before Steven was even a passing thought in my mind. I loved you from the moment we found you in that kindergarten. I just wanted to protect you, shelter you from the harsh realities of the war, let you grow without ever worrying about Homeworld's standards. You were the only gem I've ever met who was truly free. It was selfish of me, in hindsight, to hide so much from you. I knew you'd have to face it all one day- but a part of me hoped that day would never come, and you'd stay free and innocent forever. In the end, I wish I had told you everything I could, to prepare you for the war to come. In the end, I guess you didn't need me to protect you, after all.

Garnet. I wish I'd told you, back during the war. You could have helped, could have seen what would happen if I went through with the shattering. But I convinced myself that telling you would only make things worse. In hindsight, it's a wonder you didn't figure it out. In hindsight, I know you could have helped us avoid this fate. But in the end, I'm just glad you made it through. For all the times I lied to you, I'm sorry.

Bismuth. I'm sorry for leaving you in that bubble for so long. Even after the war, I couldn't bear to face you again, knowing that you would put the pieces together too quickly. Knowing that the others would hate me for keeping you from them. Still, in a sense, you were right to show me that breaking point. Even if I did have to poof you then, your idea planted a seed for the plan that would end the war. If it weren't for you, Bismuth, we all would have been shattered. I only wish I'd been able to thank you.

Lapis. I never knew you, but Steven does, and that means that you matter to me, too. For all the pain my actions indirectly caused you, I'm sorry.

Peridot. I wish we could have met. I could have learned a lot from you. But I'm glad you were there for Steven, instead.

Yellow. I'm sorry for all the truths I kept from you, and all the times I took my frustration out on you, knowing that you wouldn't retaliate, that it would only annoy you more. I'm sorry for how much of a brat I was when I was young; at least I admit it. But I wish you could've seen the person I became. You never did recognise me as Rose, not even when I was right in front of you. You never considered that I had the power to change.

Blue. Thank you for being patient with me for all those years. I think that if I had told you, you wouldn't have tried to stop me. You'd argue with me, reason with me, but you wouldn't stop me. You'd understand that you couldn't stop me. A part of me wishes you could've seen the earth in its full beauty, back before the war, when all of its land masses were still intact and battlefields had not yet formed. I think that if you'd taken the time to appreciate the earth, you could've been a crystal gem, too.

White. I feel like I barely knew you. You would join us sometimes, and you'd laugh and sing, but then you'd disappear again, back to that empty white palace of yours. I wish I had known you better. I wish you'd taken the time to know me better. I'm glad that Steven managed to get through to you, when I couldn't. Who would've thought that you'd blush pink?

Spinel. I wish I'd brought you with me to Earth, back then. I wish I'd talked to you. I wish I hadn't left you behind. I thought that by leaving you there, I could leave behind that part of myself, that childish person who I used to be. It never really occurred to me that maybe you needed to change, too. You could've been a great Crystal Gem, I'm certain. You've proved, by now, that you can change.

Pearl… my first pearl. What to say to you? I missed you, at first, and though I'm not proud to admit it, after a few thousand years I forgot about you. I wish I'd come back. I wish I'd stood up to white, either then or thousands of years later, when I'd learned how to stand up for myself. I wish I'd tried to save you. It ended up being Steven who saved you, in the end, didn't it? If any decision I've made was worth it, it was creating him. For everything I did and didn't do, my pearl, I'm sorry.

Steven. How I wish I could've seen your face. I wish I could've been there as you grew, been there to help you up when you fell, to witness every one of your accomplishments. I wish I could've whispered in your ear when you were frustrated, I wish I could've held you as you cried. There are so many things I wish I could do, but the fact is that I will never, ever regret creating you.

Dear gems,

Good luck on your journeys. Now is the time to let me rest, and allow yourselves to move on.


End file.
